"Peace Begins with Me"

"Peace begins with me."

There was something about both the simplicity and certainty with which my daughter's newly-minted 17-year-old friend uttered that phrase amidst a bustling birthday trip we took to NYC. Her words stopped me in my tracks.

"How could she possibly know that so deeply already?" I wondered. The short answer, great kid, great friend, mature and wise well beyond her years (my daughter and her are lucky to know one another and benefit from mutual good-hearted thinking).

Many of us who have a lot of years on these two young women still haven't fully figured out the centrality of peace in action.

Maybe it's time for us mired in the work of adulting to revisit peace.

Singing Peace

The theme of peace seems to be following me lately. At work, my dear colleague, Judy - a person to admire in all ways - and I ended up chatting about a beloved old song "Let There Be Peace on Earth." My mom sang that tune in choir in the late 1950s when it was brand new. I can still see the sheet music for it she'd kept - yellowed already by the 1980s when I was growing up - the font ancient-looking, the chords easy to find on my piano, and the Millers' lyrics priceless: Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me

Let there be peace on earth

The peace that was meant to be

With God as our father

Brothers all are we

Let me walk with my brother

In perfect harmony

Let peace begin with me

Let this be the moment now

With every step I take

Let this be my solemn vow

To take each moment

And live each moment

In peace eternally

Let there be peace on earth

And let it begin with me

For both Judy and I - believers in a greater power - the song had always resonated spiritually. Our brief discussion was beautifully wistful: as a kid, I can remember loving hearing my mom sing those words with her purity and passion. There was a magical transformative essence to the way the music seemed to soar alongside her spirit.

As I began to develop an independent sense of how I wanted to be in the world, carrying that song in my heart (with a sensibility that extended beyond "brothers" to all people), peace started to become more and more essential to me. St. Francis gave me a rock:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

Peace Rocks

All well and good, but what can peace look like in action? What place does peace feel like in the secular? Can we rock peace at work? Here's what I've learned:

Peace fundamentally belongs in the workplace

Peace is a skill and practice

Peace happens as a collection of small moments

Elevate Peace

Like many soft skills, sometimes the business world equates a desire for peace with weakness or lack of gumption.

Being a practitioner of peace takes a core of strength and the flexing of brass leadership muscles.

For us data-driven types, compliments of ChatGPT, here's some facts on peace:

• A recent review of “peacemaking at the workplace” describes it as involving four components (relational, procedural, emotional and content-help) and shows that informal/voluntary third-party peacemaking contributes positively to team/individual functioning. Maastricht University+1

• According to one “cost of workplace conflict” report: 49% of conflict is caused by personality clashes/egos; 34% by stress; 33% by heavy workloads. Also: managers lose nearly a full day of productivity per month, or ~2.5 weeks per year because of unresolved conflict. Workplace Peace Inst

• The same source noted that 70% of employees believe managing conflict is a critically important leadership skill; 54% believe managers could handle disputes better by addressing tensions early. Workplace Peace Inst

• In a broader survey, employees said unresolved conflict makes them feel distracted (21%), frustrated (18%), anxious (9%), stressed (9%). Peaceful Leaders Academy+1

• From the “Workplace Conflict Statistics – 2025” data: workplace disputes and personality clashes cost employers dearly — e.g., a figure of ~$359 billion annually in lost productivity (cited in a conflict resolution article) for U.S. businesses. Harvard Business School Online+1

Mom's song wasn't wrong.

Peace as Skill & Practice

Any of us can find about a zillion ways to practice peace - just head to TikTok or YouTube and search up "Practice Peace" as a start.

Here are my own personal quick-start tips:

• See the value of peace. Peace helps the workplace as a whole. Being in peace helps you, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and IMHO in terms of making clear-headed professional choices. Value your own peace, your colleagues' peace, the peace of anyone and everyone to whom you want to deliver a service.

• Focus on your own breath. In heated moments, you can always silently (and fairly undetectably) slow down amid whatever is around you and just mindfully take deeper, longer, more thoughtful breaths to summon peace.

• Keep something that brings you instant peace in plain view. Whether it's a photo of your dog or a word sticky-taped to your laptop (mine is compassion) a reminder never hurts.

• Build a mantra - AI can help. A phrase that you can silently repeat or even say out loud will help you reground yourself in the importance of peace during challenging moments. "Peace begins with me" is pretty wonderful. But find your own so that the words will truly resonate just for you. Not sure where to start? Prompt AI: share some adjectives that matter to you, share your personal objectives around peace, and I'm sure you'll co-create a mantra quickly.

From Small Things, Mama, Big Things One Day Come

Bruce isn't wrong, either. We're living in a moment where peace seems to be less in vogue than in decades - the 1960s might be the only comparable recent historical times in terms of ideologies being varying and everyday people feeling somehow so far apart. Many of us lament these facts on social media and elsewhere. A sense of helplessness pervades: "What can I do? How can I make a difference? I'm overwhelmed. I'm just one person."

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "The way to begin is to begin." Gift your own small piece of peace to the world. The simple small things do matter. Offer to do a task for a colleague whose week is under water. Say yes to a call that will reassure all players on a project. Just say something nice when it isn't necessary but is meaningful. In traffic, take a breath before you lay on your horn (I'm from the swamps of North Jersey, if I can manage to control road rage, trust me so can you).

All of these small things add up to being at peace with yourself, with your friends, with your colleagues, with strangers.

Your Piece of the Peace Pie

My mother's mother had a great sense of humor. Wilma would often utter, chuckling, amid any sort of potentially heated moment "Peace at any price!" Sometimes it was her way of saying she didn't agree with my grandfather but wasn't willing to argue about something meaningless (they were ultimately married for nearly 80 years - yes 80). As a kid, sometimes I secretly thought she was being a wimp when she said "Peace at any price" -- now I know better: my beloved grandmother was being a hero with a core of quiet, measured strength that leaves me awestruck today. Few things will ever cost any of us more, individually and collectively, than a lack of peace.

Peace begins with me. And you, too.